Scoreboard Gourmet

Vikings and Bears Fans Compete For Top Corpulence

And now, Dear Reader, an after-dinner-game mint by Tony Gervino...

Minnesota Vikings fans are some of the fattest fans in all of sports. Spend five minutes prowling the corridors of the Mall of America Whatever Dome and you will bear witness to three hundred pounders jostling with four hundred pounders, and their two hundred pound wives. It is really quite something.

So it's no surprise that the predominant odor wafting through the stadiums’ halls is butter* and that the food offerings during the game range from giant burgers to super giant bratwurst, and food that uses the word “colossal” in an un-ironic manner.
Metal buckets of popcorn proliferated, fans were implored through all kinds of gimmicks to eat dangerous foods, and the fried onions and peppers that smothered the cheese steaks were merely confetti on the parade of cholesterol.

How unimportant were healthy food alternatives in the domed stadium? Well, burgers were sold unadorned, save for cheese. Yet lettuce and tomato trapped in cellophane packaging sat stacked behind the counter and available only upon request; clearly the food services company knows its audience.
I deem Vikings fans are only some of the fattest because the Vikings opponents on this day, the Chicago Bears, in some perverse bragging rights universe, brought along The Fattest Fans in Sports. From the naked eye, they appeared to be 30% larger than Vikings supporters, with quadruple chins stretching ruddy complexions beyond comfortable sizes. And that was just the children.

Throughout the game the concessions were buzzing. From the corndogs sold just outside the entry gates to the pork barbecue platters to all sorts of midwestern microbrews, food was consumed at an alarming rate. The sound of gnashing teeth was an unsettling one, to be sure.
But at least the Vikings prevailed 36-10. And everyone went home happy and woefully overfed. Otherwise, I would be forced to make a Biggest Loser joke and, let’s face it, I don’t feel like tangling with am angry behemoth if I can at all avoid it.

*Editor's Note: since the Metrodome is all enclosed, all cooking smells linger, one of the reasons they actually have a limited number of stands selling fried foods.

Mall of America Field at Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome, and something about New Orleans

Is that new name 16 syllables? Wow. I know it's a month old but I've been busy wondering why New Orleans is known to be a restaurant town when the restaurants, while not exactly bad, are not great, and the service is disturbing. Makes me want to go running back to a real food city where everyone from hostess to bartender to manager to server to sommelier knows how to treat a customer. Again, I'm not saying things were exactly bad, but they were, well, lame. The best service we had in town, amazing service actually, was at the Soniat House, our hotel. The city's restaurant staff should undergo training with the Soniat people, then we can tackle the inconsistencies in food.

In the meantime, let's think about the Vikings. Tony Gervino is out in Minneapolis doing some reporting for ScoreboardGourmet, who only knows The Metrodome as The Metrodome.

Another Game at Citi Field

According to some SG field reporters, this mess was created by two gentleman, both of whom chased their meal (and Bud bottles) with Pepto, then ran to the restroom, the events taking place within the first three innings of Mets/Phillies at Citi Field. Delicious.

What Mets Hot Dogs Have to Say About Life at Citi Field

Diary of Burnt Frank

I used to have it good at Shea Stadium. There was me, some chicken fingers and Pretzel. But really, anyone who came to the game had a hot dog with mustard or kraut. Why? Well, I go with everything—beer, soda and water.

Looking back, I may have taken my popularity for granted. That happens. Look at the Pizzone. But hindsight is 20-20 vision, even if you are Hot Dog.

Then I heard about CitiField and all of the new facilities. Oh, happy day. New grills, new condiment dispensers, new everything. I began my victory lap, shortly after last season ended.

Then I noticed the name Danny Meyers popping up in the newspapers. At first I thought that he was the kid who caught Jeter’s ball, all those years ago. But then, Pretzel, who has wireless, told me that Danny was the restaurateur responsible for Blue Smoke, Shake Shake, Esca and a number of other overrated (by the way) food joints in NYC.

I was as nonplussed as the day in 2006 when they introduced Dogzilla, that steroid freak of a hotdog that lasted one season. The size of a small child’s arm, dogzilla was to hotdogs as Dennis Miller was to football announcing. It was gone before I knew it. Haha, dogzilla.

So I assumed that the same fate would befall the burgers, ribs, tacos and effing lobster rolls. “People like Hot Dogs!” I screamed into my iPhone from vacation.  “Relax, Pretzel. You worry about everything.”

Long story short, Opening Day came around and my cruel fate was quickly apparent. With the eight million other choices, the classic Hot Dog has not just taken the backseat to the other food choices, I’m in the trunk. Now the only people who eat me are idiots and losers. And folks who don’t want to stand around for a half-hour.

And you, old friend.
Hey, where are you going?

-Tony G. who swears he wrote this post just for us. Hmm.

More About Murrays Silver Butter Knife Steak

Yes I'm still stuck in Minneapolis. Cuddyer did just hit for the cycle; it's not like that town is short on interesting news. Anyway, I'm reinstating the Guest Post portion of the site, thanks to my friend, a writer, Tony G, who lo+ves him a nonchewy steak...

It was a few years ago and I was visiting the Twin Cities to witness the Vikings lose to the Green Bay Packers, an event that was something like getting shot with a nail gun. On my way into downtown Minneapolis, in a December snowstorm, I had asked the cab driver, an old codger, which restaurant served the best steak in town. He seemed like he had eaten a few, back when his teeth were in working order. Or even lived in his mouth full-time.
He didn’t pause before saying, “Murrays on Fifth” and proceeded to tell me about the time he drove a limo and deposited the Rat Pack (Frank, Dino, Sammy and Joey) there some thirty years earlier. Apparently, Murrays, a local institution for over fifty years, was the go-to place for hipsters back in the day, and remains the secret spot for local athletes. And Prince. Seriously.
“But what about the steak?” I enquired. I hate hipsters, after all. He then told me about steak so tender you could actually cut it with a butter knife. It was called the “Silver Butter Knife Steak.” Oh dear. I can barely remember saying, “Take me there,” through the haze of expectation mixed with a little drool.

My first visit, and every one since, has been an orgiastic event of ordering and eating. Some highlights: the spaetzle mac-and-cheese, fried walleye cheeks and shrimp wrapped in bacon, sautéed in barbecue sauce. The bread they provide on the table appears to have been dipped in butter, seasoned and baked.
Murrays offers the requisite pork chops and other steakhouse fare like tuna and swordfish. But, listen; if you aren’t going for the steak, you are a fool. Carved tableside, the steak sits atop a platter of sizzling butter and is perfectly seasoned. And true to its Midwestern roots, the portions are somewhere just beyond enormous.
One quibble I did have with Murrays is that the name ‘Silver Butter Knife Steak’ is misleading.
You can actually cut it with a fork.

-Tony G.

Pulled Pork at the RBC Center

Thanks to Jeff for sending in the picture: Pulled pork sammy with cole slaw and western (north carolina) bbq sauce. Western is tomato based, eastern is vinegar based

Pete Rose Cafe in Boynton Beach: a review

Thanks to Matt of HeadlinerDiners.com for writing in and giving us a taste (and picture) of the Pete Rose Cafe in Boynton Beach, Fl. He tells me the Boca Raton location is closed.

Says Matt: We had the Dugout Spinach Dip and the Bases Loaded Hot Chips.   The spinach dip was stopped with sweet crab meat and melted cheese & served with red, white, and blue tortilla chips.  The hot chips were spicy, thick potato slices topped with melted cheddar cheese, bacon, green onions, and sour cream. 

It was a ton of food just for those two appetizers and much more than my wife and I could finish.  They were both really good and our waitress, Donna, was very friendly and attentive to what we needed....refills, napkins, etc.  She talked to us about Pete and how often he came by, where his table was that he always sat at, & how approachable he was.  
He grew up here in Cincinnati where we live and everyone's always talked about what a great down to earth guy he is, and he's always been really nice anytime we've seen him. 

SG says: Let Pete Rose into the Hall of Fame. Sheesh.

 

Paw Sox Game Preparations

Thanks to Christine, editor of FenwayFaithful.com for helping me prepare for my first Pawtucket Red Sox (triple-A) game.

Here's what she has to say about eating in and around McCoy Stadium...

The food at McCoy is not particularly impressive, mostly the usual ballpark fare. Nothing wrong with it, but nothing out of the ordinary, either.
I think they only have bratwurst and not the Italian sausages that other places serve; if they have Italian sausage, we couldn't find it. My husband usually gets a couple of burgers, I go for the Kayem hot dog and some fries. That's usually pretty good.
They also have personal pizzas from Papa Gino's. Plain or pepperoni, that's it. They're pretty good, if you like a thicker crust pizza.
For sweet stuff, there is the usual ice cream, fried dough, cotton candy, etc. There is also a "health food" stand, which I've never visited, it's someplace behind Section 1.
They serve beer and wine, most of the beer is the generic Bud Light, Coors Light, etc. But you can also find a stand, in the vicinity of Sections 5-6, that has Smithwick's (an Irish red ale) and Blue Moon (a Belgian-style wheat beer). 

Eating outside the ballpark: in my opinion, the area doesn't have much to offer in that regard. There's an Olive Garden in South Attleborough, MA, right near I-95. There's a place on Newport Ave called Spumoni's, which we tried once, and it was awful. If we go out after a game, we usually go to Chelo's on Newport Ave. It's a local RI chain, it's okay, and it is cheap.

Roland Garros: Häagen-Dazs and Fancy Sandwiches

ScoreboardGourmet has a new correspondent, someone of whom we are extremely jealous. Richard Floyd, on the 280-somethingth day of his world travels, reports that there are Häagen-Dazs ice cream stands (aka mobile ice cream stalls) everywhere at Roland Garros. He says sundaes and other fancy Häagen-Dazs creations are popular with fans sitting in the stands.

Richard also tells us there are lots of fancy sandwiches on sale all around too. He was impressed by what he saw in terms of food, and that was before he knew he was on SG assignment! He didn't even plan to take this perfect picture.

"Being France and all, the food assortment was much better yesterday than your typical sporting event," he says.

Women's Singles Finals Start Now:
Dinara Safina (RUS)[13] v Ana Ivanovic (SRB)[2]

Swedish Hot Dogs and Sports Arenas

Scoreboard Gourmet is always trying to be more international, sometimes.

Here's some great information from SG's Swedish Correspondent (sort of) Mikael Karlsson:

Mikael tells me his favorite sport is ice-hockey, although it is really a toss-up between that and soccer, proper football y'know...;-)

(that's his emoticon)

His favorite game day food is absolutely Swedish hot-dogs. Boiled, not grilled. They're a much smoother grind than hot-dogs here and the regs as far as what goes in the mix are very strict so they taste more of actual meat than of something you'd probably really don't want to know what it is...

A great place to find Swedish-like hot dogs in the US is: Schaller & Weber
1654 Second Avenue
New York, NY
T: 212-879-3047

No beer ever sold at Swedish sports arenas. Aside from an alcohol free kind, but alcohol free beer doesn't really make much sense since the taste of beer - aside from Guinness and Samual Adams - really leaves a lot to be desired so drinking it without being rewarded with a bit of a buzz feels kind of pointless, IMHO.

Who can tell me more about sports in Sweden? Maybe I should start a whole series on non-US sports. Hmm.

Nationals Dinger, The

Thanks to Flavor Finder for writing in, and sending a picture of this flying-saucer-like treat available at Nationals Park.

The Dinger is the new ice cream sandwich that Giffords made for the Nationals stadium. $5 each. The Dinger is a nice treat - easy to eat - very good ice-cream and a crisp chocolate cookie. I would get one again!!

The Nats take on the Marlins tonight at 7:10pm